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An open heart

Is your heart open? Can you feel it? Do you know what it is saying?

Our heart always knows the truth, the right decision, the perfect choice… it knows all. But somewhere along the life path we lose the connection. The heart knows and we don’t. We got busy in our lives, our jobs, our relationships, we don’t know what a right design is, what offer to accept, what kinds of food to eat, how to raise our children, being really intimate with our partners, deeply connect to others, talk to a friend in need…

One of the reasons we don’t dial the line to our hearts is fear. We are scared to death. Because one day long time ago we did, we listened, we opened it and it hurt so much.  So much that we cut the line and closed some doors in our hearts for certain situations, certain kind of people, certain feelings. We closed up a certain area of our sensitive hearts, locked it tight, and over time forgot even where we put the key.

Little we know that with all the pain we locked away the same amount of joy, love and compassion. Years passed by, we have forgotten the door ever existed. We complied, adapted and moved on to the countless hours that didn’t hurt but didn’t feel like anything either (like this taste-free, calorie-free, any sensation-free crackers). Years of tasteless, life-less moments that just passed by…

Until a major crisis, a separation, an illness, (in best case an enlightened teacher or great training course), etc.  – banged on that tightly closed door – unexpectedly and brutally.  Suddenly the parts of our hearts that we locked away screamed up und caused enormous pain. And although it sounds that only the pain is screaming, the voices of love, joy and compassion are in the chorus as well. We only have a hard time recognizing them…

At this point, I guess all we need is just genuinely listen. Listen directly into the wounded heart past all the circumstances that caused the crisis. Sit with it, breath, cry and listen. Listen to the pain we locked away many years ago and thought we had dealt with it because we were too little, we didn’t know how, we needed to survive and adapt. Now it’s our responsibility to take all our maturity, courage and resources and find the way to look into our hearts and maybe for the first time in our lives have a real conversation with our heart. Because it’s also our responsibility to free that love, joy, humility and compassion that we locked away years ago.

If there is no major crisis in sight,  it’s time for a self-initiated inspection. (In that unfortunate case we have to relay on our self-motivation again and may want to hire a coach). We don’t need to start with the very old and painful doors. Maybe open at first those that are less scary, less dusty. Letting out some light and joy.

Maybe it’s not the purpose to guard ourselves from pain and hurt simultaneously, robbing us of any love and joy. Maybe the purpose is to experience all to the fullest? Maybe it’s about letting our hearts train us through marathons and sprints and intervals of life. Becoming ultra athletes of living from open hearts, living full and real lives full of vulnerability and  intimacy,  passion and joy, peaks and valleys?

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