Hi my dear friends,
Last December I turned 40 and something profound happened that day. I was making coffee and minding my own business as a realization struck me out of a blue:
I finished school one day, law school in Russia, another law school in Germany, CTI-coaching training… And it’s exactly the same with life – I will finish this “university” one day (?!). I will…It’s a fact… A simple and undeniable fact, that also applies to me (?!) with a 100% certainty and with absolutely no exceptions…(A 100% certainty – such a rare thing these days and should be at least appreciated)
After I processed it and was happy to have a profound anecdote to tell, I felt a huge desire and curiosity to open the doors and explore other rooms of my life before this adventure is over and I go through the last door. (Although there is still hope I reach enlightenment before that and spare myself the “graduation ceremony”…)
One door I want to open wide and not just to pick behind 2016 is the door of Intuition. Intuition, Spirituality, Metaphysics fascinated me for years. An interest and hobby I have been a little bit ashamed of. I hoped one day my interest subsides and I become normal main-stream person again. But it only got stronger and there is no hope it will change in the next 40 years…
So I decided to devote this year to my Intuition – to explore and study this phenomenon and act on it in all areas of my life more then ever before. And see what happens if I seriously commit to my inner guidance and combine it with Intellect that supported me for years.
Said. Done. From January on I have been reading, meditating, contemplating, following, journaling, sharing with friends who are also on this journey… a lot. It felt great, familiar, insightful and has been very satisfying. (There were some dark days in-between, more about it another time…)
Just when I was getting perfectly comfortable on a mediation cushin – “Bang” – I got a message from my Intuition – to write about my experience.
To write?! – has my Intuition lost her mind? – I hated essays writing in school…I never ever wrote anything except legal texts …I simply can’t write…
To share ?! – I never shared my interest for Intuition and Spirituality with friends who I assumed would find this topic weird or even worse boring… not to mention acquaintances and sudden encounters..
To blog ?! – Let it be “out there” and ruin my reputation as a reasonable, intelligent woman and a smart, professional coach forever…to let my whole FB village know?!..
But Intuition could be very tough and persistent…
(I might want to be more careful with my goals and intentions next year)
I don’t know what will actually happen if I do follow my intuitive urges and start to blog, will anything happen…what kind of experience, room, house, garden, land and people await me outside.
I am dying to find it out – dying from fear and excitement at the same time. And loving it – as all the moments that I consciously seek out as I grow wiser – the moments when I feel truly alive.
This door has been there all my life and I never had a courage to knock… It looks like now I have no more desire to wait for that courage to come… It’s so scary to publish my first blog post. Who would had have thought…
P.S. The door on the photo caught my attention on a trip to Lissabon to celebrate the 40-birthday of my dear friend. And oddly enough it has number one on the very top